So, first...let me fill in some gaps that seem to have occurred. When I left off, I wasn't sure how I felt about Ryan and was up in the air about where it would go. I told Ryan that I wasn't sure how I felt and that I wanted to spend time with him and enjoyed his company but I just wasn't sure if that was because I would enjoy anyone's companionship because I enjoy doing things and it's better with company so I was getting friend vibes but was willing to continue to see if those feelings grew. I told him that Stevie Wonder was still a go as long as he was ok with still going. He said that he didn't feel comfortable so I found someone else to attend. Ryan also said he wanted to stay in touch though which confused me because if you don't feel comfortable going to a concert with me, why would you want to stay in touch? Anyway, I said ok and found a replacement date for Stevie Wonder....which brings me to my next dramatic matter that's going to get a whole bunch of people riled up for many different reasons but here we go......
So, Boomerang is a guy I met about 8 to 9 years ago now. I call him Boomerang (and yes, he know this is his nickname given by me) because I keep throwing him out of my life and he keeps coming back in, like a boomerang! It took me a good solid 2-3 years to tear through all the lies that Boomerang told me at the beginning of our "relationship" and discover the truth about him which is that he is married and in an open relationship. I have verified this is true and that his wife couldn't careless about the ins and outs of what he does with others since there really is no relationship/marriage at the home front, just two people staying together for the kids' sake. So, despite all the BS from Boomerang, we have grown closer and know and understand each other as well as any two people can. I feel comfortable with him, always have even with his lies and BS. Now, my friends that know me best feel that I feel comfortable with him because he's of no commitment threat since he's already spoken for. I agree with this to a degree.
Before Boomerang, I was with Jose. Jose and I moved pretty fast into a relationship and moving in together. We didn't spend time truly getting to know one another and that led to huge problems throughout the 11 months we were together. However, I felt comfortable with him from the very first time I met him. One could argue that I felt comfortable with him because he lived 2 hours away so I still had my "freedom" and therefore there still was no immediate commitment threat. But, I was never put off by his affection, him wanting to hold hands or cuddle.... same with Boomerang. I've always been comfortable with both of those past guys.
I digress.... Boomerang is the reason I decided to reach out to Ryan again. I was talking to Boomerang about Ryan and he mentioned that I seemed to be coming up with a lot of random faults. He said "are you sure the problem is him and not you?" Well, that made me think twice. I know I have problems opening up to people and letting my guard down, but it made me start thinking that perhaps I ended things prematurely and for frivolous things. So, last night I sent Ryan a text that in summary said that I think I got scared that we were moving too fast and I didn't want to rush things and have things end like they've done before or rush into things before we really know one another and be blind sided later on by things (aka a Jose situation). He got back to me and said he knows that he can rush things but he can also be patient. He also said that he likes me a lot and "would most definitely like to see [me] again." So, we will most likely meet up Friday night somewhere simple and just chill. Not Netflix and chill....just chill.... in public.... and fully clothed!
Stay tuned.....
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